I’ve been struggling with motivation recently. Trying to figure out how to be my own boss and not be a total bitch to my one employee. Me. I’ve found I’ll have one day where I’m riding a high followed by a low, where I feel drained and unable to get shit done. That really irks me. I’ll then get frustrated at myself for feeling so useless, a trap I fall into quite frequently.
On those low days I’m trying to appreciate how I feel. Really take it in and accept it. Instead of forcing myself to stare at a blank screen for an hour, waiting for things to happen, I’m accepting they might not and that’s ok. It’s ok to have sluggish days. Days where procrastination is the main item on the to-do list. I remind myself this, over and over and over again, because I always have that sense that I should be doing something. And it can be tough to calm my over-anxious, whirring brain down.
These are the five things I’m doing to help find motivation and really take in the moment…
Eat Breakfast in the Bath
Look, I don’t know if eating a meal in the bath is good for you but fuck it, it makes me feel extra as I start my day. This is me taking my bath game up a notch. On low days I reward myself with a lay in, before pouring all of the bubbles into the bath and relaxing into a soak, while eating my cereal and catching up on Shipwrecked – yeah, I know, trash but I love it. It feels like such a luxurious and indulgent way to start the day. Especially as the bath is my favourite way to relax and unwind. I feel all pampered and spend the rest of the day feeling super fancy. Try it.
Get Out of the House
Whether it’s a walk to the shops to have the poor guys hunting down their Creme Eggs – I am obsessed, I can’t help it – or taking myself down to the river for a little bank-side walk. Being outside makes me feel brilliant. It makes me feel calm, like I can fully take a breath, ideas start to shoot through my mind and I like listening to the rhythmical thud of my feet on the ground. Even if it takes me ages to convince myself that leaving the house is the best thing to do. It always is, by the way. Even if it’s pelting with rain.
While I’m out, I like to flex my attention-training muscles. I focus on touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste. I walk without headphones so I can hear the whoosh of air as a swan flaps its huge wings. I watch the rowers gliding through the water so effortlessly. I feel the drops of rain as they land on my nose. I smell the damp air. It hones my attention, something I struggle with when I feel unmotivated.
Make My Own Hours
One of the biggest things I’m still figuring out this year is accepting the fact that I don’t have to work a traditional 9-5. Sorry Dolly Parton. I’ve found myself starting the morning slowly, ticking off chores and life admin before working through the afternoon, stopping for a lengthy lunch before working into the night. Last week I found that my creativity stepped up a gear around 9pm and saw my fingers flying over the keyboard. In all honesty I’m still working it all out, finding a new routine and seeing what works best for me but it has been a tough shift to get used to.
Do What Makes Me Feel Good
The above point leads me on to doing a little bit of what I fancy, when I fancy it. At the moment that includes writing poems about IBS. I want to explore more ways to connect with others who have IBS and to share my stories with a big dose of humour in other formats, alongside this blog. I’m naturally consuming more poetry on Instagram these days, loving bite-size verses that linger in my brain. If you’ve got any recommendations, shout, because it’s something I want to do more of.
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I should also add that doing what makes me feel good also involves inhaling A LOT of Creme Eggs. A 5-pack does not last long if it’s left anywhere that I can see it… Please feel free to send these my way, alongside your poetry recs. I will gratefully accept.
Check in with My Feelings
Before CBT last year, I was not in touch with my feelings. I much preferred to keep them safely locked up in a bottle that I was rarely interested in opening. Since then I’ve been trying to allow myself to feel everything and take a moment to absorb it all. It’s ok if I feel sad, I can tell people I feel sad and look at why that might be. I don’t judge myself for having these feelings. I accept that I have these low days and I do all the nice things that make me feel good. I try to stop pushing myself so hard. Go easy and gently and I feel much, much better for it. Not only that but more in-tune with myself and my needs than ever before.
P.S I wrote this while listening to this beautiful Concentration playlist on Spotify. It’s a mix of piano, classical and instrumentals which help get me in the working/writing/creating zone.
What do you do to feel energised?
I too find that spending time in nature is incredibly effective for soothing an anxious mind. It’s one of the few things that stops the cycle of endless thoughts and helps me ground myself and get some healthy perspective. Baths- a daily staple. And Creme Eggs, girl you’re speaking my language! ?? I feel like I’m your American counterpart! ?
OMG, we could be sisters and we don’t even know it!!! Am sending you hugs.