For me 2011 is all about new beginnings. I’m in a new relationship with someone who genuinely cares about me, mine and my brothers health is on the way up and I have a great network of friends around me.
Those of you who regularly read this blog will know that although I don’t open up very often on here, 2010 was a shocking year and one that I’d be more than happy to forget.
Over the years I have accumulated quite a collection of ‘cobwebs’ we shall call them, that I have desperately needed to clear out but never got round to. Don’t get me wrong I have well and truly moved on, put a lid on it and all the other cliched phrases, I just needed to physically remove it, which I guess is almost the hardest part. Dredging up all of those old memories is at times painful and a job that isn’t always easy to do, but definitely needed to be done.
It’s quite a cleansing experience sorting and removing junk, and people from the past. It’s easy to forget how much stuff you gather during the years. I found it easy throwing out clothes I hadn’t worn and wasn’t likely to, orange catsuit anyone? But I found it a lot harder when I came across my memory box.
Filled with constant reminders of moments in time I’d rather forget, it was hard to appreciate how draining this process could be. I found old pictures, letters and cards, all of which have now been removed. Don’t worry, this won’t be a moment I look back on and regret. I believe some call it complete closure.
I also found some of my most treasured items. A christening card from my Godfather, who has since passed away, a forth birthday card from my much beloved grandad, who has also since passed away. My first pair of baby shoes, a wall hanging of me with the text ‘I love my grandad and grannie’ and some classic cheesy girlie pictures of my and my besties throughout the years. All of this makes me appreciate what I have now and where I’ve got to.
I’m sorry that this post has got a little deep, I guess sometimes it’s cathartic to write it all down. I have no shame in admitting that I’m not as hard or tough as I’d like people to think.
“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.” T.S Eliot.
Oh Jo,
don't apologise for writing something deeper than usual.
I think blogging can be a really cathartic outlet for such thoughts and there is a great deal of support to be found.
<3 sending you lots of love x
Good for you – it's your blog, say what you like. I'm tempted to start publishing my poetry on mine…how awful would THAT be?
Welcome back x