IBS-D has gifted me with the extraordinary ability to be able to feel no shame in having to poo anywhere, at any time. And then talking about it. You’re a lucky bunch of readers aren’t you.
I feel like no one is more qualified to talk pooing in public than someone with IBS. I’m talking public loos, work loos and loos that aren’t your own. Not pooing in actual public, I’m not down with that.
Anyway, here are the rules my bowels and I live by.
Choose the Loo at the End of the Bank
This one applies for work cubicles, those found in most pubs and bars, and of course, those trusty train station loos. If possible you want to choose an end cubicle so that you’ll only have one other occupant alongside you at any one time. It means you don’t have to worry about two people potentially hearing you.
Line the Bowl with a Couple of Sheets
This is my ultimate tip. Pop a couple of sheets of loo roll in the bottom of the bowl, laying them over the water. That way they break the fall and catch any potential plops – what a good word. It dulls the sound and creates less overall mess. You don’t need many, I usually opt for two sheets.
Spritz Some Poo Drops
There are a few different varieties on the market but essentially they’re scented drops used in the bowl either pre poo or post flush – it depends on the brand. The most well-known has to be Aesop’s Post-Poo Drops mixing citrus and ylang ylang to neutralise bad odours. It’s in a fancy bottle so will also look lovely on display in your loo.
If you’re worried about smells while you’re on the go, there are smaller bottles, from other brands, which you could pop in your handbag.
Now, this isn’t one that I do myself but I have been told that if you flush after the first drop, you catch the smell before it lingers. Also good for helping hide the sound.
Turn the Music Up
If you’re at home or round a friend’s house, turn up the tunes to drown yourself out so you can poop in comfort. You can even enjoy a little sing along while you’re in there.
Know That Pooing is Normal!
Surprise! While it can be embarrassing, smelly and uncomfortable, pooing is totally normal. Everyone does it. Even that person you’re sitting next to right now poos. IT’S NATURAL and NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF! Some of us simply have to go more frequently and some of us struggle to go.
Side note: I wrote poo – in some form – 11 times. Go me.