To Fake Tan or Not to Fake Tan?

To Fake Tan or Not to Fake Tan?

I am of a very pasty nature with a slightly yellow hue. While I could easily be mistaken for Casper the friendly ghost, I will never look the same as Gisele Bündchen, all golden and glowing.

Which is strange, seeing as my mum, dad and brother all tan easily and fairly darkly. I however will have a smattering of freckles explode over my face like a dot-to-dot drawing, go slightly tan, like I haven’t washed in a day, and that’ll be that. I’m clearly adopted or the milkman’s, as I always thought.

This leaves me with the age old question, to fake tan or not to fake tan. There are pros and cons of both, which I have experienced first hand and listed below.

To Fake Tan

  • A golden glow that makes me look healthy.
  • People will stop asking about my health.


  • I become a streaky orange mess.
  • My wrists and ankles look like I’ve slept in a bottle of Irn Bru.
  • It’s pretty obvious it’s not my natural colour.
  • People ask you if you’ve been away anywhere nice and it gets awkward when you have to explain it’s fake.

To Not Fake Tan

  • I don’t need to do anything and can show off my naturally pasty hue. Pale is interesting, right?
  • I don’t need to do anything. Did I say that already?


  • Exposing my legs to unsuspecting people can result in blinding.
  • I look deathly pale… Constantly… Like all the time.

I feel like lazy will always win. Unless I give St. Tropez’s Gradual Tan in Shower Lotion a go…What do you think, to tan or not to tan?

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