I transform into the biggest of kids come December. It’s my absolute FAVOURITE month EVER. Every little thing fills my heart with joy as I start counting down the days until Christmas, swiftly followed by my birthday. I also know that it can be one of the most overwhelming months where my diary starts to fill up, my to-do list swells and I stop prioritising looking after myself. Making this list is serving as a reminder to stop, take a breath, enjoy the moment and dig out the sequins.
Since I started speaking openly and writing about my anxiety and CBT, people, who I both know and don’t, have started asking me about it. After months of covering up how terrible it had got, I’ve become a CBT champion among friends and the online community I’ve carved out for myself. It’s both baffling and an extreme compliment. And something I’m still getting my head around.
Mudeford has an extremely tight hold of my heart. It’s where we holidayed as kids, working our way from Caravan to chalet as we got older and our parents saved more pennies. It’s my favourite place in the UK and that’s why, when my mum and I decided to take a 3-day break, it was the first place we thought of.
I’ve written a list of all the little things that bring me moments of joy throughout the day. Each moment puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step, and I am here for that.
Questions that were running through our mind before heading to Portmeirion during our mini break… Could it really be that picture perfect? Are the houses really painted glorious pastel colours? Do people actually live there? Do we have to pay to get in to this village?
I think it’d be an understatement to say that Al and I needed a break. We’ve both had a lot going on, been under stress, feeling run down and a bit over it. We needed time out and we needed some time away, so booked a mini break to Wales for a bit of a breather. And it was the best decision we could have made.
I like to make a note on my phone of all the things I’ve been loving, things that have been putting a grin on my chops and generally bringing me joy, so I have it to look over when I need a boost.
After listening to Fearne Cotton’s new podcast, I’ve been thinking a lot about my happy place. Where I like to go in reality, or sometimes in my mind, to get away from it all. To reconnect with myself. As I started to note it all down, the words flowed easily and it took the form of this poem. It’s something different for me, so I hope you like it.
Sometimes I find myself slipping into a fog of comparison and self-doubt. I get caught up with the notion of wanting everything and wanting it now. Frustrated that life doesn’t work that way. Telling myself that I’ve fallen behind, how I’m not achieving enough.
I’ve been struggling post honeymoon to get back into my groove. After the chaos of the past year and the wedding and honeymoon now being over, I’ve been struggling with feeling a little lost. This list compiles the small things that have put a grin on my chops over the past week or so.