I sometimes struggle to relax, especially when my mind is bubbling away with self-doubt, anxious thoughts and bloody to-do lists. I have to be armed with a toolkit of things that I can turn to to help me feel calm, before it all gets too overwhelming.
You inviting tub of hot, bubbly, water. What would I do without you? I mean, a shower seems like the obvious answer but it’s not the same. You’re so comforting. The way you let me slide right down until my shoulders are enveloped by a gentle, warm lapping of bubbles. Delicious. Nothing makes me feel as relaxed as you do.
Since I started speaking openly and writing about my anxiety and CBT, people, who I both know and don’t, have started asking me about it. After months of covering up how terrible it had got, I’ve become a CBT champion among friends and the online community I’ve carved out for myself. It’s both baffling and an extreme compliment. And something I’m still getting my head around.
Mudeford has an extremely tight hold of my heart. It’s where we holidayed as kids, working our way from Caravan to chalet as we got older and our parents saved more pennies. It’s my favourite place in the UK and that’s why, when my mum and I decided to take a 3-day break, it was the first place we thought of.
I’ve written a list of all the little things that bring me moments of joy throughout the day. Each moment puts a smile on my face and a spring in my step, and I am here for that.
Questions that were running through our mind before heading to Portmeirion during our mini break… Could it really be that picture perfect? Are the houses really painted glorious pastel colours? Do people actually live there? Do we have to pay to get in to this village?
I think it’d be an understatement to say that Al and I needed a break. We’ve both had a lot going on, been under stress, feeling run down and a bit over it. We needed time out and we needed some time away, so booked a mini break to Wales for a bit of a breather. And it was the best decision we could have made.
I like to make a note on my phone of all the things I’ve been loving, things that have been putting a grin on my chops and generally bringing me joy, so I have it to look over when I need a boost.
Being near water not only brings back incredibly happy childhood memories, it also makes me feel at ease. I can physically feel the weight lift off my shoulders, I can feel my muscles relax and my troubles and thoughts leave my anxious mind. I could stand and stare into the calming blue forever. Which is why I’m sharing my favourite places to go when I need to breathe deep and exhale…
After listening to Fearne Cotton’s new podcast, I’ve been thinking a lot about my happy place. Where I like to go in reality, or sometimes in my mind, to get away from it all. To reconnect with myself. As I started to note it all down, the words flowed easily and it took the form of this poem. It’s something different for me, so I hope you like it.