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Want it on Wednesday: I Carried A Watermelon

I don’t think this post needs many words as the title says it all for me.

Just like Baby, I too could carry a watermelon. The only difference being that this would actually be a lot lighter. I’m not sure my weedy arms could cope with an actual melon.

What’s even better is that you can pick this juicy New Look Watermelon Clutch up from ASOS for under a tenner. Just when you thought Wednesday’s couldn’t get any better, bam, I hit you with that.

As much as I want this for myself, I feel like I can’t write a post quoting Dirty Dancing and not give my bestie, the Scarlett lady, a little shout out. This one is definitely one for you.

Who knew I could be so selfless.

They also have a cute Orange Fruit Clutch and Lemon Fruit Clutch for all the citrus lovers. That’s gotta be my good deeds for the day done.

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A Love Letter to Sophia Webster

Dear Sophia Webster,

I felt like I just had to write to you to explain my deep love for your clutch bags. You see, nobody makes them like you do.

Case in point, right here…

You nail everything I want to say and plaster it over a speech-bubble shaped clutch. I mean, hello, it’s like you were making these, thinking of me. After all, I am your perfect customer.

I would totally say something like ‘touch my clutch’. In fact, if you ask my friends, I’ve probably said something similar when I’ve been out before. Although, if my memory serves me correctly it might have been in reference to my leather hotpants but that’s close right?!

If I owned the clutch above, I would most definitely hold it all the bloody time. I’d hold it so much that friends might start to worry that it was surgically attached to my right arm. Maybe it’d be handy if it was.

Anyway, I should probably sign off now. I need to go back to drooling over the bags right here.

Lots of love,
Jojo

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Flat-Pack Clutches

I find something weirdly alluring about a completely flat clutch. I’m also freakishly protective about the amount I carry in one as I have this weird thing about overfilling them and ruining the shape. I don’t know what it is, I’m not normally so OCD, apart from when it comes to checking that things are locked and all plug switches off at least twice before leaving the house.

In my everyday handbags I just throw in any old junk and walk out the door but with these I take extra care and precision pack.

It’s all about the bare minimum:
Phone – an obvious essential as I will no doubt need to tweet or Instagram my food at some point
Lipstick – to help stop my face looking so pasty and washed out
Purse – this slim-line furry purple number contains my debit card, ID, and notes.
Keys – are only taken if I’m not with Al, otherwise he’ll carry them.

My collection of flat clutches has grown threefold – I’ve always wanted to use that expression, although I’m not sure if I’ve used it correctly – due to Christmas and my birthday coming in one hit.

My collection which is stacked proudly above for all to see is as follows:. Shimmery gold animal print from my bestie Chez. She clearly knows me well. Black and pink Whistles clutch that oozes sophistication was a Christmas present from my dad. Purple furry purse, not quite a clutch but not far off, from my bestie Lisa.

Are you a slim line or bulky bag carrier?

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Dear Stella McCartney…

Dear Stella,

Be still my beating heart. I have just found your embellished clutch and I’m pretty sure you made it especially for me. I know you haven’t had a chance to hand it over yet, but I appreciate that you’re a busy woman. As am I.

Back to the clutch. This thing of insane beauty (congratulations) ticks all my boxes, big time.

One, it has giant embellished lips, hearts and matchsticks. I don’t quite get the matchsticks but I’ll let you off. You clearly thought they related to me in some way, to which I am honoured.

Two, it’s glitzy. If there’s one thing you know about me Stella, it’s that I love a bit of sparkle. You’re appealing to my Magpie-like tendencies here and I like it.

And finally, well I don’t have a third reason other than the fact that it would go with every item in my wardrobe, from jeans to cocktail dresses.

Stella, I salute you lady.

My mind is blown.

Yours sincerely, faithfully and with many kind regards,

Jojo
*cough* who you designed the clutch for *cough*

P.S the clutch is available from Farfetch here.

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Lulu Guinness Has Her Eye on the Prize

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to get my hands on a Lulu Guinness Perspex Lips Clutch. In particular, a bright red one.

This bright red one…

Look how glossy and shiny it is. I just want to pet it and take lots of silly photos posing with it. However, my funds have all been spent on a big holiday so needs must.

And then I spotted this.

Ahhhh, the very beautiful Sapphire Eye Coin Purse.

During LFW, which feels like forever ago, three of my favourite bloggers; Coco’s Tea Party, What Olivia Did and Fashionista Barbie, took part in a ‘day in the life of’ featuring the new eye coin purses. It’s safe to say I’ve fallen for them.

Lulu Guinness definitely has her eye on the prize. And now, I do too.

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Charlotte Olympia, She’s Just a Cosmic Girl…

Not two Charlotte Olympia posts in one week I hear you cry. Well get over it because it’s about to happen. I’m having a Charlotte Olympia moment and I’m combining it with a Jamiroquai song. What you going to do?

My new crush of the week has created what can only be described as a super cool cosmic collection. Suddenly the Jamiroquai reference doesn’t seem too silly does it?

I’ve always been interested in my star sign and have been looking into typical traits of a Capricorn. The majority of them ring true, I would say I’m a hard worker, ambitious, stubborn and practical. The two points I would question mainly revolve around patience and organisational skills but we can gloss over those.

I’m basically the goat personified – continuously climbing up the hill. I digress…

This collection is based on the 12 signs with Birthday Shoes and Zodiac Pandora clutches… I’m in love.

I would say that the description below is fairly accurate.

These beauts are my Capricorn birthday shoes. Well they’re not technically mine…

The green is not a colour I’d normally go for but I’m loving it. It’s gorgeous and the contrast of the gold heel looks amazing. The star sign is hand-painted enamel and embellished (one of my favourite words EVER) with Swarovski crystals. Ahhhhhhh.

Want to know what’s even better? There’s a matching clutch. Fist pump.

Introducing the Capricorn Pandora.

Made from coloured perspex the Pandora features the same enamel Zodiac symbol as the shoes. It’s dreamlike.

I know what’s going on my wish list. How about yours?

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Want it on Wednesday: Charlotte Olympia Croissant Gold-plated Clutch

I’ve always been a Charlotte Olympia fan, mainly because she appreciates bad-ass animal print, a good platform, cute animal faces and clutch bags.

This time I feel like she’s outdone herself. She’s mixed two of my favourite things together. Handbags and food. 

Now this shouldn’t work at all but in some genius way, it does.

This is Charlotte Olympia’s Croissant Gold-plated Clutch. At £995 it’s not cheap but my god it looks good.

Can you imagine the questions, looks, compliments you’ll get when you carry this number out?

In the words of Rachel Zoe, it’s BA-NA-NAS. Or a croissant.

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Want it on Wednesday: Tanya Snake Print Studded Portfolio

Louise Roe has created another collection for StylistPick and I’m not surprised to find that I like it. Like me, she seems to favour animal prints, chunky heels and block colours. This made my Want it on Wednesday very easy this week.

This Tanya Snake Print Studded Portfolio makes me swoon a little. I love the faded golden hues, the studs (obviously), what makes this even better is the little tassel. Gotta love a tassel.

Have you bought anything from Louise Roe’s collection?

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Want it on Wednesday: Alexander Wang Adriel Lizard-Effect Clutch

Alexander Wang features A LOT on my blog.

Maybe I have a thing for Alexanders. Wang. McQueen. Coates… aka the not-so-new boyf. If only I could get him to whip up a lizard print bag or two I’d be in a much better place.

This time round I’m drooling over this Alexander Wang Adriel lizard-effect clutch.

When I first spotted it, I actually did think it was a McQueen. It has similar qualities in the structured shape and the ringed clasp.

I love the deep midnight blue, the obvious nod to my favourite print (animal) and the real boxy shape to the clutch.

I can’t call this a bargain at £180 but I can say that’s cheaper than the original £400, and that’s something right?

Here’s hoping my Alexander reads this…